Angie Usher 52, EPP Course Participant

“I never thought my life would take such a positive turn after having been so low during my illness. My life had totally changed ....EPP really did give me the chance to live again.“

Fashion mad Angie Usher, 52, enjoyed a whirlwind life of high fashion, clubs and celebrity friends but then ill-health reared its ugly head. Here she tells her story.

I was never sure what I wanted to do through school but I knew it had to involve my passion: fashion. Imagine then my delight at securing a position in the Buying Department of Fenwicks of Bond Street. My days were a whirl of fabrics, colours, styles and samples; absolute heaven for a sixteen year-old clothing-obsessive.

However, after less than a year, ill-health reared its’ ugly head. I started to feel constant fatigue, pain and depression. These factors together with my daily travel from Essex to West End became too much for me. With deep regret I had to leave my perfect job.

This was the beginning of a long-lasting relationship with doctors, hospitals and the Benefits Agency. I tried other forms of employment but either couldn’t settle or was forced to leave because of my health. I was making regular visits to various health professionals who could never diagnose anything.

But punk was at its height, the fashion and music world was an exciting place to be. It was a time of massive change in youth culture, and I wanted to be a part of it. Although still unemployed and sick, I moved to London in 1980. I got a job inTop Shop at Oxford Circus, where I managed a concession selling Pirate-inspired fashion, the must-have of the day.

Eventually ill-health knocked on my door again, and I was forced to leave. After yet another recuperation stint I started to make the journey across London to the Great Gear Market in the ultra-cool Kings Road where I would sit at the bar, make a coffee last forever and soak up the ambience. The fashion, beautiful people and music made my pulse race.

Having become part of the furniture, I was offered a job on the T-Shirt stall in the market, where I supplied many blossoming stars with punk clothing. The Gear market was also a place for the fashion elite to sell their wares and where top designers would pilfer ideas that eventually reached global catwalks.

The owner of the T-shirt stall, Disco Dave, opened a shop two doors up from the Gear market called Review where I was asked to work. We stocked articles from designers who later made their mark on the world’s fashion arena. The shop became a Mecca for stars and fashion media; my perfect workplace. I was found in the bustling London clubs and VIP bars with celebrities from around the world.

Of course, the cursed mystery illness came along and I parted company with Review and Dave, and reacquainted myself with the local DHSS office.

After a while, a friend of mine who worked in the legendary punk clothing shop BOY, asked if I could work part time. I accepted – after all a girl had her clubbing reputation to keep up and had to pay for her clothes and make-up.

My hours at BOY soon became full-time, and the owner and creator of the label, Stephane Raynor and I discovered that creatively we worked really well together. We collaborated on design ideas, and as the label grew, we opened more stores across London.

The eighties were the peak time for BOY with every celebrity wearing our clothing and visiting our shops. We dressed icons like Madonna and Boy George and the label became global, with franchises setting up across the world. We held parties in all the major nightclubs in London and ran cutting edge runway shows at London’s Fashion week. We were riding the crest of a wave. I was in my element – I was part of a global, trend-setting label and on the guest list for the coolest clubs around London.

Steph eventually sold the business and started another. I went to work with them, and we started a label called ‘La La London’. We dressed many A-listers and our store fused our own designs, as well as vintage furniture, lighting and clothing from France. Again, we became a Mecca for the rich and famous, and everyone who was anyone would buy our products. However, my health was going rapidly downhill, and Steph and I parted company.

In 2003 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I had to give up any idea of working and was told I would never be able to work again as my condition was so erratic and unpredictable. With the pain associated with Fibromyalgia, one has to deal with depression, Irritable Bowel Syndrome,  Chronic Fatigue and everything else this condition imparts upon its’ sufferers. At least I knew that I wasn’t going crazy.

My life had gone from unexplained symptoms and constant visits to doctors to a diagnosis, but nothing else. I found myself at the GP’s surgery more and more seeking relief from my condition. On one of these visits I saw a leaflet which said ‘Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?’ These words were written for me! The next day I was at the library and saw the same leaflet. It was for the Expert Patients Programme, a self-management programme for anyone with a long-term health condition. It was a sign. I phone the programme and signed up to a course in my area.

What appealed to me about the course was that it was delivered by two lay-tutors who themselves live with long-term health conditions. I am so happy I attended this than another group or course.

I met people with conditions from RSI to COPD, arthritis to MS. All of these conditions affected us in a similar way – we experienced depression, pain and fatigue and uncertainty about the future. Self-management taught us to deal with these symptoms and helped us communicate better with family, friends and health-care professionals. It was the answer to my prayers. Everything seemed to make sense to me, and I was thrilled to be asked to be a volunteer tutor for the programme.

This became my lifeline. Depression had turned me into a virtual recluse, but I looked forward to delivering the courses and meeting new people. Eventually I was giving talks to as many as 200 health care professionals and community groups.

I never thought my life would take such a positive turn after having been so low during my illness. My life had totally changed – I could never have imagined doing anything which didn’t involve fashion or celebrity, and yet here I was actually making a difference because of my experiences with ill-health. EPP really did give me the chance to live again.

They trained me to deliver specialist courses in Pain and Mental Health and in early 2008 I was approached by the EPPCIC to become a Support Tutor on a part-time paid basis. I was employable. I was a worthwhile person. I immediately accepted and started organising courses, recruiting and enjoying my life. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, in November, to coincide with my 50^th Birthday I was promoted to Trainer status, and given my own areas of London to work in and organise courses for.

Bad health blighted most of my life, and I never thought anything positive would ever come from it. I have a life, I have friends and I am controlling my health condition.

Fashion was my life – I lived, breathed and could never see an end to it. Now I just follow fashion in magazines but I have never been so happy. My life is now helping others to self-manage their health conditions and whilst I would never knock the fashion world, EPP and self-management gave me a second chance which my previous life would never have done.